If anyone asks, I was with you. T-Shirt

Full transcript of shirt: IF ANYONE ASKS, I WAS WITH YOU. I mean, who would want to ask anything about it anyway? Who would know? Does someone know? Will someone know? Do they know right now? What are the chances... hey, prison won't be too bad, I mean, you get fed, you get a nice roommate, you get to be somebody's girlfriend... What am I talking about? This is crazy talk, absolute ludicrous. Maybe we can make some new friends there. And by "we" I mean you and me... If I'm going down, I'm bringing you with me. I am sure I can handle one to sixty years of walking funny. Staying there for life won't be so cool though. Maybe it is a good idea to start lifting weights or start doing karate or something. Do you think that there is enough time to fly out of the country? Cuba would be okay I guess... probably no extradition laws, but the communist thing wouldn't be so fun. I've got it! We can sell all of our possessions, move to Colombia, pay off the Colombian government, and become drug lords! No, that whole left-wing guerrilla group thing won't be so fun. How about this, we go to Saudi Arabia, become billionaires in an opium/oil/arms export venture, take over the U.S. government in a military coup and proclaim immunity from prosecution. This stuff is driving me INSANE! Why did you bring this up anyway? Who are you? Why are you continuing to read this shirt? Do you have nothing else to do? Nothing? Really? Well, anyway, back to the point before you RUDELY interrupted, I can't take it anymore. I just feel like I'm going to explode. Goodbye person who is reading this shirt. Goodbye world. Goodbye life. If I'm missing, don't look for me because I'm gone, GONE I tell you, and nothing can stop me. So, I was with you last night, right? You're going to have to take the fall on this one, okay?