Top 10 things Nursing School forgot to tell me 10. You will not have an itch until you put on sterile gloves. 9. How to keep a straight face when the husband & boyfriend/wife & mistress show up to the hospital at the same time. 8. How to transport a ventilated patient with invasive lines and 7 IV pumps to Radiology (at least one floor away) for his umpteenth CT Scan. 7. The odd fact that the most frail looking old people have the tightest grips, and aren't afraid to grab at any of your body parts. 6. That an experienced CNA may have a good answer to the problem…if you’ll ask. 5. How to balance what you should do with what Medicare/Medicaid will pay for you to do. 4. What to do when it feels like you’ve lost the “em” part of empathetic. 3. The fine art of wagering on your patient’s blood alcohol level or UDS results. 2. How to practice nursing in a world that lacks utopia. 1. What to do when you need to tell the nurse about a problem, only to realize that YOU ARE THE NURSE!