Bring a smile to everyone that sees this funny Retro Housewife Guide hanging in your new home. This was inspired by the wonderfully silly rules once taught in every Home Economics Class through the 1960's and before the advent of the "modern woman". Each thoughtful passage will make you grin, and perhaps even reminisce about life in you household growing up. A wonderful and funny engagement gift for the Bride-to-be! Recommended size is 12 x 25 for legibility. Fully customizable! Be sure to click the orange "Customize It!" button. HERE IS THE TEXT: Dinner is in the oven. The table is set. Meal planning, done weekly, is a sure way to have delicious meals ready each night. Men are hungry when they come home and a good meal is an important part of your warm “welcome home”. Powder room time. Refresh your appearance. Apply fresh perfume, touch up your lipstick, and pinch your cheeks. Groom the children like the little treasures that they are. Little boys have tucked in shirts, little girls have ribbons in their hair, and no bare feet. Tidy up. Inspect each room in the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables. Tune in the hi-fi with soft music. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to say, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are always more important than yours. Keep the conversation gay and try to be a little more interesting for him. He deals with boring individuals all day. It is part of your job to be entertaining. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand that in his world of strain and pressure he is deserving of a peaceful and relaxing home. Housewife duties: To make sure your home is a haven of order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't mention your thoughts. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in his easy chair and offer to take off his shoes. Have a drink ready for him. Cocktails are always welcome. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. A good housewife always knows her place.